Welcoming Chaos

Many years ago, one evening a man woke up in the same house he had lived in his whole life. He followed the same rise-and-shine routine since he was a teenager and put on his familiar work uniform: steel-toed boots, jeans, and a T-shirt. He got in his truck and drove across town to clock in by midnight to work the graveyard shift at the town’s biggest factory. 

A normal routine and an orderly life by all accounts. 

Until one day it wasn’t. 

One morning, that man finished his shift, walked outside in time to see the rising sun off to the distance, and walked across the parking lot to find his truck so that he could drive home, across town, back the way he came. The man walked and then double-backed and walked along a different section of the parking lot, but his truck was nowhere. He couldn’t find it.  Did he park on the other side of the factory last night? He walked around to the front side of the building, slowly traveling up and down each row of parked cars with no success. Was it stolen? Did a family member come and get it? Was something wrong at the house? The man called his mother, a retired school teacher, who often woke up early to bird watch out the back window, but no answer. 

His heartbeat raced, and uncertainty set in. 

How was he getting home? How was he getting anywhere without his truck? And why did his mother not answer the phone? Is she okay? 

A tired brain relies on habit. The man needed to walk out of the factory at the end of his shift, get into his truck, listen to his favorite music, and take the route he wanted back to his house. The man didn’t just want to do this. He needed to do this to feel safe. 

No truck in the parking lot meant no safety. When the man tried to gather information and find his truck, he got stuck because he couldn’t find it anywhere and now he didn’t know if his mother was okay, because she was not answering her phone, and he couldn’t check on her because of the original issue, no truck. His heart didn’t just race now, it pounded. Worry and fear began to set in. 

Sound familiar? We have all been in this situation. 

No, I don’t mean we have all had our vehicle go missing while we were at work, but we have all found comfort in routine and order and have all encountered something that disrupted this familiar safety. Often, without any warning and frequently when we are tired and otherwise not in the best frame of mind to handle the sudden change.

In the case of the man, as the sun rose higher and more sunlight covered the original parking lot he first looked for his truck, and he realized that the parking lot lights in one corner had gone out.  His truck was now hidden behind an even larger vehicle, which originally was hard to see in the dawn’s early light. Once the man sat down in his truck, started up his engine, and got his favorite songs playing, he made it home to discover that his mother had forgotten (again) to take her phone off silent, so she didn’t hear it ring. 

Everyone is okay. Shortly after returning home, the man’s heartbeat slowed, returning to normal, and he quickly felt safe again. The worry he had experienced evaporated with each passing minute he was home, and calmness set in so the man was able to sleep well and rest before his next shift. 

Not all stories end this way. A lot of stories end with chaos – with stolen trucks and mothers who have fallen ill in the night. What happens then? 

What happens is a response. Your response. 

You do not for a single second have to approve the unexpected, the chaos. 

But if you simply accept that it happens, and welcome it with curiosity, you can respond with purpose, explore the situation more, and perhaps find that what you are looking for isn’t missing. It might just be hidden behind something unexpected. 

It is possible to feel safe, even in a moment of chaos and uncertainty. If your habit is to first accept and welcome the situation without judgment, then you can respond without judgment. You can develop the habit of responding and not reacting so that you can make choices and take actions that help you reconnect to what is most important. Had the man reacted with anger, he might not have had the patience to check the parking lot a second time and find his truck. He may have even yelled at co-workers or accused people of stealing his truck, which would have caused more conflict, uncertainty, and chaos.

Maybe what you are looking for is safety and order.  Maybe you want to find something that you lost along the way and need help to think differently about the situation so that you too can respond with purpose and find safety again. You do not have to walk alone in your journey of recovery or growth. At Maverick Insights Counseling, we can listen to you and help you manage the unexpected. Consider making an appointment today.